When I was younger, I had quite a few hobbies. I was always taking a class, learning something new, or making something. I’m an only child, so passion projects were a common occurrence if I was feeling restless. As I got older, I joined clubs and picked up random after-school activities. I may not always have been good at it (i.e. running track), but I wanted to make friends and feel like I was a part of something. In college, what was once a mere interest (photography), was now my major, and there was more on the line. I needed to do well in my classes, meaning my creative abilities were now directly linked to whether or not I’d receive my degree. Once I graduated, I looked for positions where I could put my skills to the test, as the school had been prepping me to enter the workforce.
Albeit, it’s disheartening having your interests intertwined with capitalism. At one point, we’ve all found something we liked and were good at, and said, Hey, I could make a career out of this… but in reality, it’s a double-edged sword. Maybe it’s that our interests being directly linked with our financial well-being is tiring. The key phrase in the screenshot above is “free from the demands of work or other responsibilities.” Reality hit when I realized that photography, once fun and exciting, had lost a bit of its spark.
When people ask me what my hobbies are, I usually freeze, because, in reality, I like doing nothing. I enjoy relaxing and having quiet time. Since this answer is frowned upon, I make something up. I feel like saying “I like to read” is a strong choice - it sounds intellectual enough - and they don’t need to know that I’ve been rotating the same three books for years. During the pandemic, I had my hobby revival moment. I started cooking (like actually following recipes), baking, and making fancy drinks. Then, I had my painting era and I took up watercolors but was actually just doodling on paper while watching Summer House. I also had a brief sewing moment and made janky fabric masks from a beach cover-up for me and my husband, because it was impossible to get your hands on surgical masks in PR. There was my gaming era (one whole month) when I played The Sims and Animal Crossing and thought I was sooo cool. I even got really into fitness and did yoga for about a week.
As an almost 30-year-old, I feel like it’s not often that I’m encouraged to be fully and unabashedly myself or to do something where I might not make money, or get societal recognition. We’re always telling kids to be themselves, do what makes them happy, and be whatever they want, yet we’re doing the opposite.
So what did I do? I started DJing. I picked a hobby that was completely out of my realm and gave it a shot. I don’t know anything about music production or sound, but I do know what music sounds good and what doesn’t. I think this is what made it so exciting for me. I had no real frame of reference and didn’t know what to expect. However, three things did happen:
It ended up being really difficult.
Now, damn, maybe I should have chosen an easier hobby, but djing isn’t easy. I didn’t pick it up as quickly as I thought I would. My mixing skills were shit and I couldn’t get things to sound like they did in my head. I also had to practice a lot, to the point that I had a minor meltdown. I was frustrated because I wasn’t making progress, which meant it wasn’t fun anymore. A part of me was struggling with the fact that you can’t give up the second things are difficult, and also, you can’t be good at everything overnight. Some things legitimately require practice and effort. So I stuck with it, and to my surprise, I’ve been getting better and better.
I had to repress the impulse to “make content” about it.
I’ll admit that the first thing I did when I started practicing was post my mixes on Tiktok and Instagram. Although I thought it would be cool to document my journey and progress, I noticed myself obsessively checking to see if anyone liked it or reposted it. This was counter-productive, as I was spending more time editing a video to post than practicing. It was borderline ruining the whole expectation-free hobby thing, so I had to remind myself — no more content!
I’m not doing this to make money.
Again, riffing off my last discovery, this hobby was not meant to be linked to $. Separation of church and state, people! I simply won’t allow this new, fun thing I’ve started to become soul-sucking. I’m going as slow or fast as I want to in my learning process, and I’m not putting the extra pressure on myself that capitalism often does.
A few months ago, I shared a Fortune article about the benefits of revisiting hobbies as an adult, and I couldn’t agree with it more. It’s a brief piece, but essentially, the reporter speaks with a therapist that encourages people to get back in touch with that side of them because we all deserve to do things just to experience joy.
“Hobbies can be the one thing we do that doesn’t even require us to be good at them.”
I added this quote because quite frankly, it makes me feel a bit better that I don’t have to be the greatest or the best at my new venture. After all, it’s just for fun. I’d like to think that all of this is somehow healing my inner child. When I’m djing, I’m actively learning new skills and getting better each time. I’m desperately trying to be kind and patient with myself, the way you would with a kid when they’re trying something new. Simply just cheering myself on from the sidelines, You can do this! Something about having this challenge and learning to tackle it makes me a bit less anxious about other things in my life. I often think, Well if I could teach myself to do that, then maybe, I can do anything. I think we can all afford to have a little more confidence and happiness with the things that we like to do in life. The world is rough, but hobbies can be an effort in an ongoing quest for happiness.
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A
Great read! As someone who is a "professional" hobby jumper I've come to terms with just allowing myself to enjoy the process of something without necessarily being good at it. I can't draw or really paint well and wanted to quit, but then I notice I just like mixing colors together and putting it on paper and that's enough for me. It's hard as adults to just enjoy hobbies without falling into the notions of perfectionism and performance.